Teens and social media: 3 ways to start conversations about safety

Children nowadays are more tech-savvy than ever.

The number of pre-teens using social media, and that own their own smartphone or tablet, is continuing to grow. And as a parent, allowing your child to take part in the online world may seem like a scary concept at first.

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Why are conversations about social media important?

The way you and your child engage with social media is likely to be very different.

So, having open discussions, whether that be about the apps they are using or the trends that are popular with their friends, can help you form a better understanding of how social media impacts their every-day lives.

What’s more, creating a safe space with your child to talk candidly about social media will also help to bridge these generational differences by allowing your child assume the role of educator, and teach you some things you might not necessarily have known about their use of social media.

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How can I start a conversation with my child about social media?

Rather than waiting for an issue to arise, look out for every-day ‘teachable moments’ that arise as your child is using social media.

For example, a trending hashtag or viral TikTok dance may come up in conversation when you ask your child what they have been up to that day, or discussing with friends. This creates a natural opportunity to discuss the broader concept of online trends, and their potential consequences.  

The same goes for things like a data breach impacting a popular social media or gaming site. Once this becomes dinner table conversation, it opens up the floor to discuss the importance of privacy, and protecting personal information online.

It’s important to always approach these conversations with curiosity and an open mind, rather than citing off a lecture. This ensures open and honest conversation can take place, and positions you as an ally to your child’s social media journey (not a critic!)

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3 social media conversation starters you can use today

1. “How do you usually decide if an online space is safe to join?”

Many popular social media platforms for children involve joining and taking part in virtual ‘communities’, where users can chat to one another — including strangers and users from other parts of the world — such as Discord and Roblox.

This may raise some red flags for you as a parent, as ‘stranger danger’ is a serious risk that needs to be monitored closely when allowing children access to online spaces.

The next time your child mentions a game or interaction they had with someone online, in a virtual space, consider asking: “how did you decide that that space was safe to join? How many people were there, and did you know them all?”

Once you have a better understanding of the situation, you can then set the scene for some safety tips by saying: “let's discuss some of the signs of safe vs. unsafe online environments, so you know for next time!"

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2. “Can we talk about what cyberbullying is and how it's different from bullying that happens in person?”

Cyberbullying can involve anything from hurtful messages, rumours or lies, posting embarrassing photos, or excluding someone on social media. Many popular apps that children use have features that can facilitate, or even fuel, cyber-bullying, such as comments, direct messages, or live streams.

As a parent, you need to be aware of the signs and effects of cyberbullying, and talk to your children about how to recognise, and deal with it.

So, the next time your child tells you about an online joke or a classmate that has ‘gone viral’, take the time to find out more. If the joke appears to be at this person’s expense, it’s important to make your child aware of what is happening and the negative impacts of this behaviour. Consider asking: “Can we talk about what cyberbullying is and how it's different from bullying that happens in person? Why do you think it's important to understand these differences?"

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3. “How do you think screen time before bed affects your sleep?”

Social media apps have features that can encourage children to spend a lot of time on their screen, such as push notifications, rewards, or live events. Excessive screen time can negatively impact your child’s health, including disrupting their sleep, affecting their vision, or reducing their physical activity.

This  is why parents need to monitor and limit their children's screen time, and talk to them about the importance of having a balanced and healthy lifestyle.

The next time your child tells you that they were watching something or playing a really exciting game late at night, open up a conversation about the potential health implications of screen time before bed. Consider asking: “How do you think screen time before bed affects your sleep? Have you considered how it might affect your mood, energy, and performance in other things?”

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